Karen Grierson, on personal and relational counseling:
“What good does counseling do?”
Individual and relationship counseling is as much about learning who we are as individuals as it is learning who we are as partners in relationship. Issues often result from not understanding what we want, then not clearly communicating our expectations to others. It’s no surprise: muddy self-awareness + muddy communications = relationship chaos.
For many people, developing healthy communications in relationships is an uphill struggle against a lifetime of inherited family values and examples, our own bad habits, and shortcuts based in assumptions.
Where counseling often helps most is in the intersection of learning to identify our own needs and wants, then learning to authentically discuss those needs and wants. Counselling is also helpful in learning how to listen.
When exploring all of the factors that influence our development, therapists and clients find a rich mix of stories, characters, and (perhaps most importantly) resources that clients in crisis have sometimes simply forgotten. The work of good therapy is to reconnect clients with a sense of their own skills and successes, to help them build — individually or as a relationship — better skills for managing both daily and lifelong challenges.
A key tenet of counseling is this:
“Change only occurs once the need to change exceeds the pain of staying the same.”
From the blog
I keep meaning to develop articles here, but two disparate careers and a theatre hobby addiction somehow keep me away from doing more writing. But this article happened across my inbox today, and is worth sharing. I and other therapists often have clients who were (are) dealing with aging parents, which can often reactivate a [...]More »
2013 is getting off to its usual start in a flurry of snow, a flurry of activity, and a flurry of new clients. While I am always happy to see new faces in the office, it’s a reminder that the holidays in particular, and winter in general, are stressful times for relationships and individuals alike. [...]More »
Something a friend wrote recently sparked a thought that is the tip of a larger iceberg on the topic of the difference between feelings and thoughts (specifically, value judgments). This post is entirely predicated on a statement about “feeling unworthy”; “unworthy”, and worth in general, is a value judgment, which puts it in the Thought category [...]More »
The rolling over of one year into another is both a a tough time and a hopeful time for people — often simultaneously. Never mind the stress of financial and scheduling issues or family obligations around the holidays; where many people struggle the most is with our love-hate relationship with the New Year’s Resolution. The [...]More »